Stand Up – Al Be Good

Good Words, Good Thoughts, Good Grief

March 21, 2022

Next to having an unexpected fist striking your face, being close to flames will humble you. It’s around this time of year I find myself jumping over flames.

At first, there’s a feeling that grips the pit of your gut. You let that feeling passes over and turns into determination. That determination turns into a hell of a rush as you start hopping over multiple flames like a Mario Bros.

It’s After a while you find yourself moving forward towards the fear and get it over with. I’m just thankful my father started me early. No, it’s not some weird Texan St. Paddy’s Day Arson thing. I am aware folks do that in Texas and all over the world.

It’s part of the Persian New Year Nowruz (Pronounce “No Ruse”) New Day. It’s a Magi holiday ritual that goes back thousands of years. The Tuesday Wednesday before the holiday. The holiday predates Christianity and Islam*. There’s fire jumping which is an allegory of facing the new year over the flames of the old. There’s an offering table with a goldfish. You also get chocolate coins, new clothes, and you gotta clean your place, set up offerings, and visit family and friends. There’s a lady spirit that visits your place and curses you with bad luck if your place isn’t clean and offerings ain’t up to par. And right about now you’re looking at me like I’m on drugs.

Look the old school Zoroastrian holidays have to be seen to believed. You try to explain the Persian holidays to most folks and they look at you as a lunatic on drugs or just making up holidays. Because people don’t just makeup holidays.** It gets sandwiched in around the same time as the drinking holidays St. Paddy’s Day and Purim.

I mean obviously, Covid has put a halt to the yearly fire jumping. Ironically around this time of year, I found myself in Los Angeles. I still find myself leaping over stacks of little fires.

Anyway, folks, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Sure it’s from an oncoming train. It’s a toy train. However, there’s glass and legos on the floor. It’s still going to hurt. Still better than staying in the darkness.

What am I saying, folks? Life is like the Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping” without the cirrhosis of the liver. I showed up a documentary and there’s more on the horizon. It’s around this time of year I find myself jumping over flames.

*Notes

*Isn’t Iran Muslim? Even after most practicing Magi were kicked out, most Iranians still hold onto Magi names and the Farsi language thanks to the poet Ferdowsi that remixed history and legend into an old school OG Game of Thrones. Of course, there’s a cartoon version. Check it out!***

*Sarcasm Font

**It was pretty popular. Took him 30 years to complete it. However, he was upset when he was paid in silver after he was offered gold originally. After he complained to the king. That King sent out elephants stomp on him.

Featured, Shameless Self Promotion!, True Lies

It’s Show Friends in Show Business

February 17, 2022

It’s not often true friendship and show-business combine. No matter how hard you try, you really can’t like everyone. Everyone you like might like you less. What’s the old saying by used by jerks to justify the hack crappy behavior? “It’s show business not show friends!” Who needs 30 pieces of silver when you have a spot to perform at a pub that used to be a comedy club? Alliances and rivalries come and go at the drop of a hat. Despite all your cynicism, and self-doubt, you meet someone and you make a real friend.

No longer do you watch other comics with a sniper’s eye view, hoping and praying for them to trip up, bomb, and die a horrific death on stage which would hopefully lead to nothing short of a good old-fashioned whupping. You start to see this person’s artistic and professional advancement as a good thing and well deserved. You catch each other’s shows when in town and not do anything else. When the chips are down off the stage, you got each other’s back. Help each other move, crash on the couch, share rides to gigs, mics and just hang out. And then, the unexpected happens.

Laff Stop, Houston, Texas late Saturday night, Outlaw comic, Carl LaBove has a restless sold-out crowd and my good friend Theodore M.E. Taylor is opening tonight. This is the third and final show of the night. Feeling claustrophobic, Theo heads to the green room and chills out. Minutes pass, the straggling drunks from the second show finally settle their tabs with the wait staff and get out. Seating begins and ends with military-like precision. I decide to get my stage right peanut gallery view of the stage.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO THE LAFF STOP! THE OLDEST COMEDY CLUB IN TEXAS, TONIGHT WE HAVE ONE OF THE ORIGINAL OUTLAWS OF COMEDY, JUST RECORDED A COMEDY SPECIAL SHOWTIME AND WILL BE SEEN ON BIOGRAPHY! GIVE IT UP FOR CARL LaBOVE!

The audience goes wild with applause.

ALSO, GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR FEATURE, HE’S A REGULAR ON BOB AND TOM GIVE IT UP FOR DWIGHT YORK!

The applause gets louder.

AND NOW GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR HOST AND EMCEE FOR TONIGHT! THEODORE M.E. TAYLOR!

Then, I realize Theo is still in the greenroom.

THEODORE M.E. TAYLOR… THEODORE M.E. TAYLOR!

Applause turns to confusion.

WILL THEODORE M.E. TAYLOR PLEASE COME TO THE STAGE!

Split Second, I think to myself, Aw Screw it!

I think opportunity has knocked and I run-up to the stage.

I got this friend that wants to fuck a dwarf.

A wave of laughter devours the stage.

Alright, it’s me. Hold on. Let me explain. I’m just in it for the story. Just about every hack comic has them I screwed a little person story. They’re all pretty much the usual I fucked one, please insert a small joke with a pun here. Doug Stanhope actually claimed to have hooked up with a little person and he doesn’t even have a story or joke for it. There have to be more variations on the genre of little person fucking? Is there a Jack Kerouac beat-inspired story popping with confusion, jazz, and Benzedrine? Where’s the young dwarf coming of age tale? The Anne Rice dwarf fucking story that spends 5 pages detailing the stitches of clothing on the dwarf’s dress. There has to be more to this sub-genre.

Applause get louder.

Well, at least for a split second inside my head.

Cause quite honestly I don’t do that set and never had because it sucks and you can’t polish a self indulgent turd. That sort of set would earn you multiple upper cuts between your legs by dwarf comic Lil’ Rob Armstrong.

As reality crashes in and I bolt to the green room, and shout, “THEO! GET YOUR ASS TO THE STAGE!”

“I’m coming! I’m coming!”, Theo shouts as he runs to the showroom.

Theo sprints to the stage and has an awesome show.

“What The?” I tell Theo after the show.

‘You know, Al if it were you late for the stage, I would of taken your spot.’ Theo tells me.

“In a New York minute?” I ask.

“In a New York Minute!”, Theo assures me.

Trust me the thought has entered my mind. Yet, I feel content. Something must be wrong with me.

You know what’s not wrong with me? Catching me live on stage and having some laughs! Saturday I’m performing at a Pacific Plate Brewery with Eddie Pepitone and many more funny folks in “Punchline for Pangolins” All the money raised goes to Johannesburg Wild Life Vet and Global Conservation Force. You can get tickets here!

And I’ll be in Toluca Lake Monday opening for Martin Moreno, Felicia Michaels, Jill Kimmel, John DiResta and many more funny folks at Korrupted Comedy LA at Mrs. Robinson’s Irish Pub! You can get your tickets here!

Featured, Shameless Self Promotion!, True Lies

Behind the curtain looking for my glasses,

January 8, 2020

But this, this I type isn’t a dream. For the most part, I’m still surprised I’m still standing more or less.

Here are a few upcoming little victories this month.

Yes, Eddie Pepitone! If you want tickets get them here!

Also you can curb your enthusiasm and catch me working with Jeff Garlin at Sycamore Tavern in Los Angeles. And get your tickets here!

That’s me waaay in the back sticking my tongue out photo-bombing a Troy Conrad pic at the Comedy Store.

The current Hollywood Shuffle has been a zig-zag path of daily randomness of jumping from one thing to another. I get ‘hired’ for one thing and find myself doing more than I signed up for. Then again, I signed up for a lot. Still, I find myself replacing lights and mics. Lots of notes, rewordings, rewrites, reedits and remixes.

Here are some cool moments happen here a few of them I’m proud of.

Argus Hamilton prepping jokes for The Comedy Store Tonight with Argus Hamilton with fellow comics Lue Deck and Joey Gaynor on the Comedy Store Main Room a few hours before the club opens its doors.

With more than 40 years in the stand-up game “The Comedy Store Tonight with Argus Hamilton” breaks the late-night mold Johnny Carson perfected and gives it a Comedy Store twist.

And it all starts out off with a well-worn note pad. A news piece evolves into a premise here, a phrase there. From there Argus starts sandwiching them in between tried and true material on the Comedy Store stages. By the Sunday before Emma Leigh Rivera and I are recording promos. Argus’s already has 15 solid punch lines written out from premises from the week whittled down to five premises and hours before showtime he’s still working on it. He’ll change a word here, a phrase there or sometimes he flips a premise. And then Tuesday afternoon in the writers’ room he whittles it down some more. The man has had more than 42 years of international audiences of stage experience at the Comedy Store to adapt, sandwich in new jokes in between tried and true. Each week there a lot of folks running around, Starts and restarts, drop-outs and surprise drop-ins. It sincerely feels like it’s 1950’s live tv.

I’m glad to contribute to a show with the creative likes Brett Erickson, Josh Gibson, Dan Madonia, Mike Schmidt, Joey Gaynor, Sandro Ilocolano, Todd Walker, Lue Deck, Petey C, and Emma Leigh Rivera. There’s a satisfaction seeing some really cool moments happen online and in that studio. And if I’m lucky Argus will use two tags I wrote.

I actually didn’t ring in 2020 at The Comedy Store. (Like 2019, 2018 was rung in on what turned out to be the last Show Up Go Up at the Comedy Store Belly Room. Or 2017 when I was hi-fived in the face by Melissa Eslinger or 2016 driving Uber.) There are are no photos because I was busy hosting my own show at Sycamore Tavern. You ain’t lived till you seen an entire room sing along with Glenn Bolton… That memory will be one of my favorites.. A perfect way to kick off a show and the new year. Thank you Trevor Keveloh for the opportunity.

LA is a constant cycle of going from zero to hero and then back to less than zero within 5 minutes. Moments of victory are fleeting and so are the moments of misery.

2018 I had gotten texts from family and friends congratulating me because they saw me on Orville. And right after sending thank yous, I continued to work the dish pit at Flappers. Feeling low, I ran into Sam Tripoli and thought, “Aw Crap! I’m going to get my balls busted.” Instead, Sam gave me a pep talk and offered me a spot on a show at Sycamore, Tavern. From there I stuck around, helped out, filled in for hosts and other responsibilities. And then the show ended. And then they decided to do an open mic. So I asked Erik Marino’s blessing to resurrect the Show Up Go Up LA. And We’re back!

The current roster of Show Up Go Up LA hosts, Mark Stevens, Victor Martinez Jr., Sarah Fatemi with guests Sean Hart and Bird Vs Bear. Currently missing Mia Mars.

That first night at the Dojo of Comedy with coproducers Sarah Kenny & Mark Stevens.

Every Monday, I spend at Sycamore lying to myself that this open mike will be the last one. This is it this is the last show. It’s drop-ins, drop-outs, fit ins, making good on promises for folks that didn’t. Keeping the energy going between performers melting down, bombing on stage, killing and trying to get everyone up. Butt Luckily I got a good crew of coproducers/cohosts to back me up.

Solving a murder is the new American dream, that’s why true crime podcasts are so popular. Most folks are, “Why should I pursue social justice when I can get some real justice.”

I’m proud of my research on “Criiime with Rich Slaton and Jon Shefsky”. The research is extensive that went behind each episode is a series of rabbit holes in the darkness that is the human condition. I gotta hand it to Rich for maintaining the meticulous research for as long as he did. I’m surprised the stories don’t run as long as Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History. But Slaton, Shefsky and guest just keep the stories and laughs going. It rude, crude and damn funny stuff.

The Hills Have Guys with Candice Thompson

Luke Short the Undertaker’s helper, The Pete Best of the Old West.

Bonnie and Cuck: Cooneys Never Die! with Keith Carey and Tom Goss

When Criiime pays..

How I just celebrated my first research writing gig. Half price pizza and half-price beer! Woot!

Rich had to take a hiatus from Criiime. You can catch him doing sport commentating for Clash Royale. He even showed up on TBS.

Fantasy House with Jon Shefsky is “HGTV on Acid”. Each week Jon “The Only Realtor in Southern California” Jon Shefsky is the blessed guest of some of the funniest people on earth Fantasy Homes. Quite honestly, these are modest homes in modest places. Modest places like in the clouds, a lighthouse on a volcano or the moon or Montana inside Jon Shefsky. There are ghost-butlers, attack chimps, miniature dinosaurs having business meetings, a room on trampolines, zip line, fighting pits and a puppy room. It’s silly and sometimes not safe for work fun and each episode makes you wonder “What if?” Lots of talented and funny folks all around.

And of course, I gotta plug Jon Shefsky. I spend a lot of time listening to Jon Shefsky. He’s funny imaginative and riffs in his sleep. I help out some behind the scenes duties.

So what’s next? What’s the end game?

I don’t know? That would imply the fun ride would end. I must be doing Hollywood wrong, because I’m enjoying this ride.

Featured, True Lies

TBT-Requiem For A Comedy Club

August 30, 2019

December 19th, 2009, the Houston Laff Stop closed its doors.

Here are some facts for those of ya’ll at home keeping score.

Last open mic night: December 9th, 2009

Last host and emcee: Barrett Goldsmith

Last feature act: Mike Vance

Last guest spot: Slim Bloodworth

Last headliner: Carl Faulkenberry

Last club owner: Don Learned

Last general manager: Scott Garrett

Last doorman: Frank Garcia

Last bartender: Michael “Roach” Duran

Last winner of Houston’s Funniest Person Contest: John Gard

Here’s a link to the Houston Chronicle’s Retrospective

http://www.chron.com/entertainment/photogallery/Laff_Stop_19812009.html

Here’s ace reporter Dusti Rhode’s account

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2009/12/laff_stop_houston_closed.php

I told a friend. His response, “The Laff Stop is closed? I thought it closed years ago.”

Others still have millions of questions.

“So what happened?”, they all ask.

Some people claimed to read the writing on the wall way earlier. Some go as far back to ten years ago. One person said the first domino fell down the night management changed and Larry The Cable Guy was booked to a sold-out crowd.

Others point out allegations of embezzlement, a double shot of alleged managerial incompetence mixed with a bad economy.

Older faces quit, new faces appear with the consistency of a revolving door, lackluster crowds, perks disappear, new rules and times for open mics, goodwill gets lost on all sides of the club dynamic and locations changes, loss of local showcases, apathy to comics, apathy of comics, beer sold by the bucket, Gilbert Gottfried having trouble to fill the venue, comics feeling no longer welcome, comics moving forward in life, comics falling out of life, comics being banned from open mics, comics being forced to choose performance space. And that’s before the Laff Spot bought the Laff Stop.

Yes, the copy, the Laff Spot bought the original, the Laff Stop. It’s weird and confusing. Like Coca Cola being bought out by Koko Coola.

During that time club owner, Don Learned was given a chance to buy the Laff Stop, he was already planning to move his club, ‘The Laff Spot’ from it’s Willowbrook location to it’s Louetta Road location.

Most likely that change of venue didn’t do as well as planned. With enough resources to run one comedy club at a time, Don Learned was forced to make a decision. Which club do I keep? Do I keep the one in my name? Or do I keep the one with the better reputation and location that’s not in my name? In the end, he chose to save the one in his name. Faced with the same set of circumstances’ Do I save my kid or the adopted kid?’ many people would do the same.

For many weeks the inner knitting circles of Houston comics were buzzing rumors.

“Did you hear about the Stop? Keep it a secret don’t tell anyone.” gets repeated over and over, leading to Friday, December 18th, 2009 comedian Scott White posts the Facebook status update which sends ripples across the internet.

Leading to Shecky Magazine.com posting Laff Stop closing in 14 Hours.

http://www.sheckymagazine.com/2009/12/houston-laff-stop-closing-in-about-14.html

What I didn’t understand. Why the secret? Wouldn’t it make better sense for comics to know? Wouldn’t it make sense marketing-wise? The Chronicle and other media venues could have gotten involved. More people would have come, filled out the club and give it the send-off it deserved. For many folks their time at the Stop was magical. It should of ended with a bang, it ended on a whimper. It was a third show on a Saturday night with 50-60 people in the audience and a gathering of knitting circle comics who haven’t hit a stage in a long time, taking photos and snatching keepsakes when nobody was. It could have been grand, instead, it was meh.

“Feels more like an execution than a goodbye,” Staci Komp tells me as multiple comics take their keepsakes as a reminder of times past. Rob Mungle tells everyone about the impromptu Irish Wake at the original location which is now the Sherlocks on West Gray.

What did I get myself into?

Here are some of the things overheard at the Eulogy.

I remember hosting an open mic and a headliner bumping someone off the list. So I said, ‘This next act calls himself an Entertainer. If you have to use the word Entertainer in your name, you’re probably not one. Give it up for Cedric the Entertainer.’

–Martin Walsh

Sarah Tollemache, Diane Cups and Kristin Lindner team up and rip on each other a new one. Billy D. Washington recounted his one side abusive love affair with the club. And reminded comics to look beyond the cliques. Rob Mungle thanked everyone in a speech that made even most hardened bastard get misty-eyed. It was a bittersweet night which ended with little baby getting on the mic.

Even got a souvenir too!

Gone are the Wednesday night open mic lines that start at 3:30 pm. Gone are the nights hanging out comics, staff, and fans after a show. I remember seeing Mitch Hedberg rock the mic. Don Irrera giving advice. Doug Stanhope recording “Die Laughing” right after 9/11. Gabriel Iglesias, Felipe Esparza, and Armando Cosio giving me my first guest spot. Interviewing Dane Cook in the green room. Shooting sketches with the Boscos sketch comedy troupe. Watching the Brassy Broads and Black and Blue shows. Driving Daniel Tosh to his hotel room. Hanging out with Bryan Hurzie, Niki Key and the many talented cast of characters that populated the Houston scene. Witnessing Dave Attell doing a sold-out show and living up to his reputation. Chuckling to myself knowing every show started with 2 video shorts Mark Babbitt had me shoot. I remember the Open Mic on 9/10/2001. I remember taking a bus to sign up on a Monday night after my car died a painful death. Albert DeLeon and Larry Simon teaming up to disturb people. Monday nights were spent learning to make strangers laughs. So many characters, so many memories, joy and pain, it was a good time. I’m glad I made the most of it.

Later at the Comedy Showcase, Annual Christmas Party / Cajun Queen Birthday Bash. Caroline Picard makes proudly displays the chaffing dishes that go back from her old restaurant from way back.

“It’s just like the time before, back when the comedy boom of the 80’s went bust. Time to get off the pot or shit. A lot of ‘comics’ are either going to continue on or get a new hobby. Take a look at today’s big names. They’re the ones that kept on going.”

Ultimately that is all we can do.

*Montage photo of Houston Laff Stop Comedy Scene Regulars by Steve Ryan more can be found on www.Marley.net

Photo from 2006 Houston Comedy Festival by Marc Katz

Currently as of 2019 there are only 2 comedy clubs in the greater Houston area, The Secret Group & The Houston Improv.

Featured, Shameless Self Promotion!, True Lies, Uncategorized

Keep-It-Moving

March 26, 2018

“So Al, what have you been up to?”, asks an old Houston Comedy Frenemy.

“You first, because it’s going to sound like I’m bragging.” I then stretch out both my arms back and point to the poster on the back door of the Comedy Store, “I’m hosting a show at the Belly Room.” They then walk away from me.

“But wait! There’s more!”, I declare as I hear them speedwalk halfway past Bill Hick’s name on the wall.

“The toilet paper had a baby on it and it winked at me.”

— Jay Light

“And that’s how I found out I’m not made for cage fighting”

— Glenn Bolton

“The music is bumpin’ so loud, she won’t smell this.”

— Rasheed Stephens

“I got an inflatable Dick costume, $65.95!”

— Becky Robinson

“They were normal till they found the bodies in the basement.”

— Amanda Cohen

“By the time we got home, there were 15 people protesting with us.”

— Rich Slaton

“So I meet the guy with the lie detector at the Arby’s on Sunset.”

— Josh Nasar

“Sometimes after a vasectomy, it fixes itself.”

— Porcia Bartholomae

“That dude got the devil in his eyes. You got you into this mess. I’m sorry, but I got to go.” – Nia DeBose

Top to Bottom left to right, see quotes below.

Top to Bottom left to right, see quotes above to match comic.

Kyle Ray’s Bedtime Stories at the World Famous Comedy Store: Real Life Real Funny. If you’re interested in storytelling Kyle Ray even wrote a pretty solid guide here. Kyle’s in Vegas right now, I’ll be hosting. For tickets click here…

Nia DeBose runs sound Pamela Walt and Steven Garza Isak Allen’s “The Yoga Incident” Now On Funny Or Die!

“So Joey (Gaynor) what side were you on during the comics’ strike?*”

“The right side.”

“And that side is?” asks “I Am Sam Kinison” director Adrian Buitenhuis.

Top Photo by Jerry D Photography Bottom right to left Q&A Panel line up, Lue Deck’s POV behind the scenes of his part of the documentary.

* (For more information on the strike, you can read more about it in William Knoedelseder’s book “I’m Dying Up Here”! Season 2 Premieres on Sunday, May 6 at 10 pm ET/PT. It’s Jim Carrey’s baby, starring Melissa Leo and Ari Graynor, Al Madrigal, Erik Griffin, Rick Overton, Andrew Santino, Earl Skakel and more!**

**Not a Spoiler TV show wise, names, histories, legends have been fudged enough to make your own speculations. That’s half the fun. Season 2 of Showtime Series produced by Jim Carrey gets released in May!)

Left to right Me, Joey Gaynor behind Corey Feldman, Adrian Buitenhuis, Dan Barton, Felicia Michaels, Judy Tenuda, Bill Kinison & Ron Jeremy Photo by Jerry D Photography 2017.

Some folks get to represent Houston, with an Astros jersey. Me, I get to moderate a panel at the Comedy Store’s Main Room for “I Am Sam Kinison”, a documentary about Houston’s greatest comic.

“Houston has a comedy scene?”

Every time I hear that from a fellow comic, I honestly want to vomit blood on their shoes. That goes double if they’re from Houston.

Yeah, Houston has a comedy scene.

In fact, Houston was where Bob Newhart was given his chance at recording “The Unbuttoned Mind” when Chicago wouldn’t take a chance on him. Houston also extended the chance for Mitch Hedberg, Doug Stanhope, and Louis CK and many more to record their albums at the old Laff Stop on West Gray. Houston was also the city that gave a former Pentecostal preacher named Sam Kinison a second wind as a stand-up legend.

What Snoop Dogg is to rap in Long Beach Sam Kinison is to comedy in Houston. From Bill Hick to Ralphie Maye to Carl LaBove to Rob Mungle to Slim Bloodworth to Olivia Arrington to Danny Rios to Caroline Picard to Reverend Bart to Warren Wright to many many more names who I got to tell Bill Kinison himself.

“Many more of them burn out self-destruct, goddamn do they burn brightly.” I shake Bill’s hand and he laughs.

Even though he’s been dead for more than twenty years, you can hear that primal scream in Joe Rogan, Joey Diaz, Bill Burr, Doug Stanhope, Erik Marino and so many countless others who were influenced by the man. Each comic took that intense wave of dark energy and rode it off into their own direction. And it gets bigger if you include the number of comics influenced by those he’s impacted.

To do a proper Sam Kinison doc you’d need an unlimited budget and the running length of a Ken Burns documentary series to even barely scratch the surface.The filmmakers did the best with what they had time and budget to allow.

Did you know it costs 20,000.00 to license Sam’s “Wild Thing” music video?

Ultimately the hope is that the documentary is watched by a new generation of fans and comics who decide to dig deeper. Everyone has their own Sam Story and as far I’m concerned they’ve all been toned down to be believed.

Other things of note regarding the documentary. There’s Houston Comedy Workshop Annex footage that has been hanging around in a garage for thirty plus years. I also found myself starstruck by Judy Tenuda. There’s just something about a woman with an accordion. If you’re the smartest and funniest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. I’ve never been so glad to be in the right room.

“Have you thought about doing a podcast?” Mike Schmidt asks me.

“Eh, I only listen to a few.”

“Al, as a comic, you need to expand your horizons. You work hard and I’m offering you an opportunity to expand.”

“I don’t know? What it would be about? It’s gotta say something.”

“Exactly. Think about it and pitch me something.”

I peek through the Comedy Store Original Room and catch a snippet of Argus Hamilton as he shoots out a new one political one-liner. Knod my head and wave to various comics as I duck and dodge my way to pick up drink buckets for comics to slip their names in.

Goat Vs Fish meets comic and former SNL screenwriter Erik Marino

Later that night, Sarah Kenny picks a name out of the bucket.

“Let’s give it up for Goat Vs Fish!”

In the beginning, there was goat and fish! The Goat-Fish! And the goat versus the fish! And the fish Versus the goat! All is goat versus fish! There is no alpha or omega! No good or evil! No black or white! There is only goat versus fish! Only one question, “Are you a goat or are you a fish?” This one who calls himself, Joshua Meyrowitz, are you goat of fish! , He then points at Joshua Meyerowitz.

I don’t know!

Answer me!

I knew you were going to ask me that question.

I now produce The Goat Vs Fish Podcast every week at the World Famous Comedy Store. It’s about 20 plus episodes in and quite honestly like FLCL, I don’t get it but I enjoy the hell out of it. You can download an episode from iTunes and wherever fine podcasts are found.

And I also help produce “Andrea Loves Everybody” at Comedy Pop Up Studios with Andrea Guzzetta and Paul Anthony Verdugo. Every episode Andrea explores emotional minefields with an inquisitive mind, a sharp wit, and an open heart. Also available on iTunes and wherever fine podcasts are found.

So I’m producing podcasts I want to listen to now.

And I’ve been showing up on tv shows, but that’s another set of hijinks. More to come! What and where I honestly don’t know.

Featured, Shameless Self Promotion!, Uncategorized

Looking Back Moving Forward..

June 10, 2017

Sunday night/Monday morning The Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip.

I stagger out the door, sweaty, voice ragged from cat herding, half tired and still visibly shaking from the after effects 3 cans of yerba mate too many.

“So how was your night?” asks Comedy Store door guy Deric Poston.

I laugh maniacally.

“So, it was that good?”

I start laughing maniacally again. I wouldn’t spend my Sunday night any other way.

And if we do our job right, folks won’t be sure if we did anything at all.

Please stand or take a respectful Colin Kaepernick knee!

It all starts with a song, “The Official Unofficial National Anthem”. It’s not the actual national anthem. Comics with musical skills like Jeanne Whitney, Kelsey Lane, Sean Hart, Caesar Lizardo, Anna Valenzuela and more kick off the show with any song of their choice.

For the most part, the rotating musical guests really bring up the audience in a roar. And right before the song reaches its peak, you can feel the energy level of that little Belly Room raise to levels of untold intensity.

Erik Marino and starts, continues and repeats his spiel as more comics, new hopefuls and surprise audience start to arrive throughout the night.

“And that’s how we start a show! With Talent! The bar has been set high! Who can follow that! Who can follow that! Don’t ruin my show! Who can follow this right now! Who can start my show! Any takers?

(Awkard Silence.)

Just remember when you go to sleep tonight when you have a dark night of the soul and have a crisis of conscience. Remember this moment. Remember where you had the chance and you didn’t take the chance.

I want you to be funny!

Welcome to Show Up Go Up LA, the most misunderstood show in comedy. And if you stay at the end of the night everyone gets a chance to work on one piece of material. I created an open mic that was fun to watch. Some people don’t like it and they’re wrong!

And if you can’t survive me on a Sunday night then you can’t survive Hollywood! We have many ways to go on stage. We have guests, we got segments. You can even create your own segments. There are so many ways you can go up.

This is the Bucket of Destiny feel free to sign a ticket and put your name in the bucket. One time only! And this is the bucket of bar tabs buy as many drinks or non-alcoholic items, a drink, chicken fingers, a Comedy Store t-shirt. It has to be a Comedy Store Receipt from today! Not a Toys R Us, 99 Cent Store receipt from God knows when!

Buy five beers get five chances. It doesn’t even have to be alcohol. We have joke challenges where you can compete and the funniest joke gets the next 3 minutes of stage time. We have open mic bingo. We’re going to bring out and old segment I think is a mistake. I’m going to give out my cell phone number. The best text will get 3 minutes later in the show.”

— Erik Marino

Take the sensationalism of PT Barnum, mix in 2 parts Eddie Wilson from “Eddie and the Cruisers” add multiple shots of Sam Kinison, Hunter S. Thompson and whiskey you end up with an Erik Marino. Erik’s written for television shows like ‘Ellen’ and ‘Weeds’. He was even at the Olympics in Rio with Leslie Jones. Marino was also a Groundling and even was quoted in ‘The New Yorker’ too.

Say what you want about the man, he puts in his time and keeps the open mic slaughter house floor as entertaining as possible. It would be easier to just run the average mutual admiration showcase of funny friends on what excluding holidays is one of the historically slower late nights of the week in the smallest room of the Comedy Store. It would much easier, but it wouldn’t be as fun.

In addition to Erik Marino, Sarah Kenny and Mark Stevens on sound also keep the show on track. There’s a lot of cat herding and adult daycare involved in keeping on track. With about on average about 400 viewers on Periscope, the behind the scenes of Show Up Go Up LA at the Comedy Store has a live 1950’s television show vibe to it. There’s running to make sure performers are ready, telling folks that they’re getting bumped, setting up the room, tearing the room down, putting out ego fires, maintaining social media accounts, helping with the clean up of the room, tracking down comics again and all sorts of other fun to happen.

Little things like Sarah Kenny using tickets instead of slips of paper, sign up pens with really bright tape attached to it to help remind folks not to lift the pen make a big difference. There’s a lot that goes wrong and a lot that goes right despite our best and worse efforts.

So yeah, I went from hanging out at an open mic at the Comedy Store to Co-producing it.

So how’d you get that?

It wasn’t something that was given to me. I saw an opportunity to pitch in and I pitched in and I kept showing up, pitching in more and things organically worked that way.

And if the current team of myself, Erik Marino, Sarah Kenny and Mark Stevens on sound makes it to late July/August, it’ll be a full year we all came together and rolled up our sleeves and kept the show running on the rails. That one night in July it was like the Avengers coming together with Erik Marino as both Captain America and Loki rolled into one.

Show Up Go Up LA returns to The World Famous Comedy Store June 18th, 2017 10:30pm!

And I busted my lip while doing a good deed.

While helping a lady change her tire at the gas station, I busted my lip in the same spot I had stitches. They forgot their tire iron, I wasn’t in a hurry and so I decided to give my tire iron a try and it worked. Well except for that last lug nut.

So I did the logical thing. I stepped on my tire iron with one leg and use my body weight to push it down. Nope, no movement, none at all. It supported my full weight. So I did the next logical thing and stood on it with both legs, still no movement. So logically I started jumping with both feet on the tire iron. 123.. Nope. 123.. Nope.. 1..2. And bam! I ended up busting up my lip. The tire got changed. She paid for my gas before I could slide my card in the machine. Not a bad way to start a day.

Note to self, be more careful and try not to get myself killed again. How I am still alive and not missing any(more) body parts is beyond my comprehension.

Oh, if I make it to my next birthday I’ll be back in Houston 8 pm Thursday, August 17th, 2017! Woooo! I’m surprised I still have a lower lip and the use of my right foot. That’s a more brutal story. It’s “Chicken Soup For the Soulless!”

It’s good to be back at Rudyard’s to reconnect with some good friends like Slim Bloodworth and Warren Wright.

August 17th, 2017

Tickets are $7

2 for $10!

Rudyard’s

2010 Waugh

Houston, Texas 77006

Slim Bloodworth killing it at the last guest spot at the last night of the Houston Laff Stop. Warren Wright on a road trip to Cap City and the LBJ Museum in Austin Texas while passing a fire at a fireworks factory near the fourth of July.

A bonafide “Dyke of Hazard”, Slim can out-drink, out-fight, out-cuss and out-joke any comic twice her size. She even came back from the dead after flatlining while on a gig in Ottawa, Canada. And she’s been a part of many more crazy times.

Warren Wright is a frantic force of nervous energy balled up exploding onto insane laughs on stage and he’s also one of the hardest working characters off stage too. Not since Matthew Broussard starting his first year in stand up have I seen a comic rise so skillfully quick on stage by leaps and bounds. All around good people and phenomenal comics, what more can you ask for? Other than a Rudz burger and maybe a Shiner Bock or two.

I have a history with Rudyard’s. It was the first room that I saw local Houston comics’ like Niki Key and Melissa Nichols take control of their careers and produce their own full comedy shows outside a club structure of any kind. People do it all the time, for me that blew my mind. Since then there have been so many moments at that Rudyard’s stage good, bad and in between. I cut my teeth on that stage, even learned how to co-book a show and promote one too. Even made the Houston Press’ Best Place For Local Comedy 2007.

After the Laff Stop closed and before the current rise of local scene like The Secret Group it seemed like clubs were closing one after another and the Houston comedy felt kinda post-apocalyptic. Lots of talent either moving on, dropping out or just staying on the road and holding onto what little they had left. Eventually, Kevin Farren resurrected comedy at Rudyard’s after Sherlock’s Pub on West Gray closed its doors in and inner loop Houston lost another local comedy hub after the Laff Stop closed its doors in ’09. Local comic, Dusti Rhodes currently runs one of the best mics on Monday night at Rudyard’s and for more that a couple of years it’s currently still one of the best stages for music and comedy in Houston on any night. If you’re in Houston on a Monday night, Rudyard’s Comedy Mic is definitely worth checking out.

In other news, I designed a book cover!

It’s weird looking something you whipped up in physical form. Second Edition available on www.m3publishers.com!

Right now I’m heading off to perform The Great Untamed in Laramie, WY with Jose Trevizo, Spencer Kalendar & Keenan Kusnierczyk!

I’m a lucky man to make it this far. In the long run, it isn’t much to pile a hill of beans on but it’s my molehill and I had help. For starters, I get trusted to run other shows and not burn down the place when the regular host is out.

I am thankful to those who keep me running around in multiple directions and keep building up things in different directions. I survive daily in part to friends, family, exes of days past and folks who find me not so bad a person to pass the time with. If I were to list them all would be a blog post in itself, still, thank you.

Better to be in purgatory with good company than lonely in heaven.

To still be here so far still feels like an achievement, even though at times it doesn’t feel so much.

Featured, Shameless Self Promotion!

To Be Continued…

July 14, 2016

“For tonight, our best hope is that both battlers have learned from past missteps, and are ready to make adjustments and come out swinging. It’s a fight for Roast Battle legitimacy, and we’ll see who the last man standing will be. “

— Dan Nolan

Verbal Violence Roast Report

So how did the Roast Battle go?

Roast Battle photos by Troy Conrad
Top left Joshua Meyrowitz, Coach Tea, My Roast battle against Cody Morley with host Brian Moses

“Just as we saw in the first battle, the jokes start out with strong reactions from the audience and quickly dip in quality, but the energy of the room never goes off course.

Cody‘s Orlando joke works very well until he tries to tag it, and neither contender hits much of a pop after that. Yet, the mood remains light, and a draw is declared which means neither battler really loses.

In a room where booing performers off the stage is a completely viable option, there are far worse fates then a tie. “

— Dan Nolan Roast Report

I flubbed a line, didn’t enunciate my words in a spot there and missed out on an opportunity for victory. Got zinged good by a Sklar brother and Earl Skakel. It went from the audience from chanting “One More Joke! One More Joke! One More Joke!” to chanting “One Less Joke! One Less Joke! One Less Joke!” to Coach Tea playing out the audience to Queen’s “We Are The Champions.”

For those keeping score at home my Roast Battle record is 2 Wins, 3 losses and now one tie. It’s not the win I wanted, yet it’s not the loss I dreaded. Not bad with six days to practice from confirmation to battle. Thanks again Cody Morley for being a good sport.

Alex Duong Triumphant Against Nick Petrillo Decreed by Brian Moses photo by Troy Conrad

Also kudos to main event winners Alex Duong and Pat Barker for your well earned wins. Alex was the one who introduced me to Roast Battles and got me into this mess in the first place. Roast Battles at the Comedy Store are brutal, nerve wracking and at times down right despicable. My soul is tainted and I am ruined beyond redemption, from the bottom of my heart thank you Alex! You bastard!

And now Roast Battle is going to be on Comedy Central! Kudos to all the LA comics that got spots on the commercial!

So what now?

How About Some Shameless Self Promotion Followed by Semi-Sentimental Musings On Los Angeles?

SHAMELESS PLUGS STARTING IN 5.. 4.. 3.. 2… NOW!

Saturday July 23rd, 2016

9pm at Oddville, It’s HOLLA FOR A DOLLA!

See Me And Other Comics Perform!

And Get Paid!

Like Strippers!

Make It Rain! Make It Rain! Make It Rain!

Oddville. A Creative Space

734 S. Main St

Los Angeles, Ca 90014

Saturday July 30th, 2016

I’m hosting the Comedy Asylum Show at the Amaro Winery in Las Cruces, New Mexico!

Hosting @AmaroWinery Las Cruces, New Mexico!

Amaro Winery

402 South Melendres

Las Cruces, New Mexico 88005

Also I’ll be at the Comedy Store Sunday, July 31st, 2016 telling Bedtime Stories! 10:30pm

UnOfficial Temporary Poster, You Get The Idea…

The Comedy Store

8433 Sunset Blvd.

Los Angeles, Ca 90069

First Saturday of Every Month It’s Food and Show in North Ridge! All That Fun For Ten Bucks!

This show has Empanadas! Yup Empanadas! Hell Yeah! Shout to Mrs. Excellence and Tuna for putting together a fun show at a most non traditional venue!

Gigs come gigs go. A venue may close a booker may decide that they want to go with someone else. At any moment the moment you prepare yourself for could just end. Still at any moment another opportunity presents itself. I’ve been finding myself impressed by the sheer number of non traditional shows! Comics in this city find a way to make shows happen.

One of my favorite spots on Sunday is Bomb Mic

Some of the faces you see at Bomb Mic in Silverlake Jordan Perry, Omid Singh, Rena Hundert, Jeff Carrisalez!

Bomb Mic at Food Not Bombs is quite honestly one of my favorite mics on a Sunday. Comics pitch in together bring food, drink or throw a couple of bucks in the hat.

It’s called #BombMic because they record the show and then release it 5 years later via Podcast, a Time Bomb.

Sign ups at Sunday 12:45pm
Show starts at 1pm
Finishes at 3pm

1069 Sanborn Ave,

LA CA 90029

Word of Advice: Bring your own cup.

Here with the closest thing I can have to a dog right now without being evicted from my Harry Potter living conditions. Photo by Raab Russell

Photo by Raab Russell @A1Raab

I haven’t downloaded it, I can’t start a new video game at least until I finish Final Fantasy 6. Quite frankly the Pokemon Go phone App makes me feel like I’m in an episode of the Twilight Zone. GPS mixed with augmented reality and multiplayer in a video game is quite unsettling ?! The full impact of this probably wasn’t even predicted by Rod Serling, Robert Heinlein or Ray Bradbury. Maybe William Gibson, Norman Spinrad, Warren Ellis or Philip K. Dick figured this out? Between Robot Bombs taking out snipers in Dallas, penis transplants and sending people to Mars, anything is possible. I find myself reading old school Science Fiction to make sense of today’s news.

On the bright side Pokemon Go has made me feel safer. I was walking home from the Comedy Store 2 am in morning and I was greeted multiple times by random folks trying to catch Pokemon. Nice folks who encouraged me to join them catch a Psyduck. It made me feel safe. I figure if someone’s more likely to get robbed it’s them. Just keep speed walking and make no eye contact with no one. Get close enough and Uber home the rest of the trip.

How are you doing? No seriously how are you doing, good, bad, Meh?

Depends on where you decide to end the story. Right now, it’s to be continued.

Featured, True Lies

And Breathe..

November 26, 2015

Disclaimer:

If you’re looking for journalistic integrity, politics or a moral at the end, go somewhere else.

October 14th, 2015, 12:40ish am

The World Famous Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip, Los Angeles, California

To say things were crazy is a bit of an understatement. Roast Battles at the Comedy Store by nature are intense experiences. Yet the verbal slugfest of Jay Light vs Kim Congdon ended up being just the cherry on top of a wild and crazy night. Somewhere in the beginning of the Roast Battle Jamar Neighbors and the Wave had just switched sides and antics with “The Haters” Earl Skakel, Omid Singh and Keith Carey. Then Roast Master General Jeff Ross had arrived with Anthony Jeselnik adding to the on and off color commentary of Joshua Meyrowitz, Brian Moses, Justin Martindale and Tiffany Haddish. I also lost my first Roast Battle to Madison Wisconsin’s Funniest 2011 and newly christened Comedy Store door guy, Mike Schmidt. A couple of moments later that becomes the furthest thing from my mind.

Erik Myers was performing in the Original Room to fellow comics like Don Barris and David Taylor and the audience inside. The audience from the Laff Mob Show were hanging out at the Comedy Store’s front patio with the other comics like Brandt Tobler, Olivia Grace, and Josh Nasar. Young 23-year-old Richard “Rick” James was standing at the Comedy Store’s front doors as an unidentified man wearing a grey hoodie and gloves walks towards him. Meanwhile fellow Houston comics Nia DeBose, Mark Hurtado and I take a step towards the patio entrance of the Comedy Store.

“Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!”

“Firecrackers?” I say to myself as I keep stumbling into the chaos as Nia, Mark and various people with more sense than me start to run off into their own different directions. I see broken glass from dropped drinks, comics, patrons and staff huddled in the corners of the bar hiding for cover. Then from the corner of my eye I spot a guy in a grey hoodie pulling sideways trigger after the clip had been emptied. He turns around and sprints into Sunset Blvd down Olive St.

“Breathe in. Breathe out! Breathe.. Breathe in. Breathe out. Stay with us! You’re going to make it. You’re going to be alright.” Josh Nasar calmly tries to console Rick as he starts to shiver and gurgle in his arms. When most folks were thinking about survival, Josh Nasar leapt in and tried help out young Rick. “Anyone have towels?!” Josh exclaims. Rose the bartender rushes towards the back to get towels as I sheepishly hand Josh stolen napkins from my linty pocket. 911 is called and it ends as quickly as it began. Rose arrives with towels and tries to stop the bleeding. Rick shivers and gurgles his last breath while in both their arms. Not all heroes wear capes, some just happened to be on “Sons of Anarchy” and work the bar at the Comedy Store. To quote another Josh, “Much respect Josh. Much respect Rose”.

Police and an ambulance arrive within minutes. Comics in the Belly Room like Izzy Salhani, Anna Valenzuela, and Rasheed Stephens start to realize something is up when they see a tearful Rose running into the Belly Room followed by Don Barris. Rumors and speculation start to percolate from the back of the Belly Room. Kim Congdon delivers a savage zinger and confirmed word arrives in the form of Mike Schmidt pausing the show “I need to make an announcement.” “Oh what, someone got shot?” jokes the Roastmaster General.

The show goes on and everyone is corralled into the parking lot. It’s a tense moment. People check in on one another and ask each other “Where were you?”. Some take photos while most start searching for a zinger that just won’t come. Maybe there might such a thing as too soon? What’s the point? Are we safe? Are less comics going to go to the Store? Or are more comics going to show up because they hear less comics are there? Will the audience still be there? Earl Skakel throws out a couple of one liners and the folks around him in the parking lot erupt in laughter.

People are only permitted to leave 5 at a time after they answer a series of questions.

“What was the suspect’s ethnicity? Did he have a beard? What color clothes was he wearing?”

Even fresh memories are weird and bendable things. Some said the shooter had a beard, while others claim he was wearing a bandana over his face. Some saw gloves and identified the firearm as a Glock. Off record everyone has their own theories. Maybe it was a hit? Gang related? I don’t know. So much went wrong, yet so much went right. Nobody else was hurt. The show went on. Ironically that cramped and sweaty Comedy Store Belly Room was the safest room in the building.

Everything around me started to mute itself and go down a couple of notches. The trek up King’s Rd with Nate Hurd and Josh Meyrowitz didn’t bother me as much as it usually did. So much uncertainty and neurotic thoughts entered and danced around in my head.

The following Thursday the Comedy Store reopened its doors. I figure I might as well show up. Once there I realize my neurotic fears were just neurotic fears. Both comics and audience were back in full force. There were hugs, fist bumps, drinks, snark and bittersweet laughs. For a moment I found myself staring at the entrance a little too long. Yeah, I’m still showing up.

So much happens at the Store at any given night. At times it can be a fantastic wonderland where celebrities, headliners, hopefuls, and unsavory characters of questionable moral fiber mingle freely. Other times the Comedy Store is a dark place where insecurities are amped up and preyed upon by those who need the pain of others to warm their cold dead hearts. Opportunities are made and dreams are crushed by the minute. What’s there not to like?

It’s still a Reece’s Peanut butter cup of crisis and opportunity coming together in a tasty bittersweet imperfect mix of silliness and madness. An open mic segment at Erik Marino‘s Show Up Go Up could easily morph into a podcast or an event of it’s own which can spread across the nation like wild fire. The Roast Battle Show is proof of that. The shows that seem to fill up the room are usually the result of comics coming together organically to make something happen. Comics see something work and someone pitches in here, someone else pitches in there and cool things happen. Cool things like Roast Battle with Brian Moses and Coach Tea, Kill Tony with Tony Hinchcliffe, Until I Lose Interest by David Taylor, The Comedy Store Podcast with Rick Ingraham and The Ding Dong Show with Don Barris are proof of that. It’s still a petri dish of creative anarchy. What most folks would call a festival in Houston, Texas is what I call just another night at the Comedy Store. Changes are made and the show goes on.

Weeks later, outside the Belly Room where the roof meets the stairs I overhear Josh Nasar reveal to Melissa Eslinger what was going on in his head at the time. “You do what you do because it’s survival instinct. You can’t torture yourself with the what ifs, could of beens. You don’t think about these types of things, you just react. You do your best, move on and react to the moment.” And just like that my anxiety goes down a couple of notches. I find myself gazing at the stars and enjoying the moment.

Then Mike Schmidt taps me on the shoulder to tell me to stop sitting on the roof.

*Photo by Troy Conrad

Featured, Lifestyle, Shameless Self Promotion!, True Lies

“We thought we’d leave you with a story.”

September 8, 2015

Friday night August 30th, 2002, Laff Stop Houston, Texas

If I can’t go up on stage, I might as well catch a show and see how it’s done.

The marquee reads “Que Locos!”.

“Is this going to show in Spanish?” I ask myself.

I do my best to avoid the waitstaff’s way and catch the show from the stage right hallway. I accidentally bump into the feature act Felipe and watch the opener Armando Cosio finish up his set.

“Great job!” I tell him as he passes me by. I watch the rest of the show from the peanut gallery and head home.

Saturday night, I finish up a video editing session, head to the Laff Stop and once again arrive as Armando is finishing up his set. I congratulate him again on the good job as he leaves the stage. I watch the rest of the show from the peanut gallery again and head home.

Sunday my conscience gets the best of me, I told Armando good set, but I didn’t catch the full set and that just starts to tug at me on the inside. So I arrive early and see Armando, “Hey Mando, I got here early so I could catch your full set.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“By the way, why is the show called Que Locos?”

“It’s a show on Galavision.”

“The Spanish station?”

“Yeah and it’s in English.”

“Cool.. Break a leg”

I watch the rest of Armando’s set, then head to the bar and order a Dr. Pepper.

“Hey Al, Gabe wants to talk to you.”

Armando introduces me to his fluffy friend, Gabriel.

“You a comic?”

“Yeah, well, I just do open mic”

“So what’s your name?”

“Al, Al Bahma… Al B.”

“So Al B, how many minutes do you have?”

“Five, I’m.. ”

“You know what? Check this out.” Gabriel leads me to the side of the stage and points me towards the packed audience.

“See this crowd? This crowd is hot!”

“Yup.”

Then Gabriel points me towards his middle act, “Felipe’s not even doing his best stuff and he’s killing it!”

“Yup.”

“In fact this audience so hot, whoever goes up next will absolutely kill it.”

“Yup.”

“I believe that so much that you’re going up next”

“Yup.”

As soon as I realize what I agreed to, I then feel my heart drop into the pit of my stomach.

“We thought we’d leave you with a story.”

Armando gets up on stage and introduces me, I go up and bomb horribly.

It was craptacular, uncomfortable and quite honestly at the time, I was too dirty for the audience.

Still one joke got in there with a positive response.

“They tell you when you’re nervous in public speaking to imagine the entire audience is naked.

Well I just did that. Now I’m blind.”

Normally it would get a chuckle, this time it was a four second applause break. Feeling that roar of the crowd for the first time on stage is powerful stuff. It’s like a shark tasting blood for the first time.

I was hooked. I want, not want, I need. I need more of this. I need to get better. I need to get funnier.

Even got a souvenir too!

Afterwards Armando brings me some birthday cake because it happened to be his birthday. While snacking on cake I ask, “Why me? What about the other better local comics?”

“Yeah, but you’re only one that said hello.”

Featured, Shameless Self Promotion!, Travel, True Lies

When You Arrive in Los Angeles

August 4, 2015

When you arrive in Los Angeles, they welcome you with a traffic ticket, a fender bender and the middle finger.

I curse this hill a lot, yet I’m greatful for the free parking and weight loss.

Best part about Los Angeles, the weather. What people call a bad day in LA would make a great day in Houston weather wise.

Worst part about Los Angeles, the people. They suck.

Older Posts