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Tie

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March 30, 2022

“Can you please get me a new stool from the back.” asks a guy in a Hawaiian t-shirt who hands $20 bucks and a chair..

I don’t work here, I just happen to wear a tie. I mean this is “The Smoke House”, it’s a nice restaurant.*

I’m lying to you. Sure, I’d like to say, “I dress nice to impress”. Heck I’ve even been asked to dress down by one employer. I wear a shirt, coat and tie mostly out of insecurity.

I have moobs aka man boobs. Last time I wore just a t-shirt I was told to get a training bra. Mothers can be so cruel. Quite honestly, nothing hides my moobs better than a sports coat and tie. It worked for most folks great grandfathers. After dinner, I head to the grocery store and check out the day old jalapeño bread, I get a tap on shoulder.

“Sir. Do you work here?”

“No, I don’t work here. I just like putting on a tie when I buy day old jalapeño bread.” I take a deep breath and throw caution to the wind, “Ask me anyway. I’ll try to be helpful….”
Yeah it’s right over there or the store across the street.
Now there’s a line forming of people asking me questions. Anyways. Here’s a couple of minutes of me talking bout the cycle of outage and of course I crack a joke. Look, I’m not okay, neither are you, so lets have a laugh! More silliness and coolness to come!

*Thanks again Trevor Keveloh at Korrupted Comedy LA at Mrs. Robinson’s Irish for treating me and  James Betterton II to dinner at the Smoke House and trusting us to keep the joke machines going as months by.