Al B – Al Be Good

Big Night

February 7, 2022

Sometimes I wonder how’d my life would of turn out, what if I had stuck to the straight and narrow? What if I stuck it with that psychology major and got that psychology degree? The one I had originally intended. Would I be happier? Would I be able to still have the ability to express myself? Would I still be resourceful? Knowing myself, I’d probably hang out with the same kind of people. They’d just be at a different income level. And I just got my booster shot.

Tonight 8:30 pm I’m performing with Tom Rhodes one of the biggest names and an influence on influences I started with. Tickets can be found here. It’s an honor and a big deal.

Featured, True Lies

TBT-Requiem For A Comedy Club

August 30, 2019

December 19th, 2009, the Houston Laff Stop closed its doors.

Here are some facts for those of ya’ll at home keeping score.

Last open mic night: December 9th, 2009

Last host and emcee: Barrett Goldsmith

Last feature act: Mike Vance

Last guest spot: Slim Bloodworth

Last headliner: Carl Faulkenberry

Last club owner: Don Learned

Last general manager: Scott Garrett

Last doorman: Frank Garcia

Last bartender: Michael “Roach” Duran

Last winner of Houston’s Funniest Person Contest: John Gard

Here’s a link to the Houston Chronicle’s Retrospective

http://www.chron.com/entertainment/photogallery/Laff_Stop_19812009.html

Here’s ace reporter Dusti Rhode’s account

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2009/12/laff_stop_houston_closed.php

I told a friend. His response, “The Laff Stop is closed? I thought it closed years ago.”

Others still have millions of questions.

“So what happened?”, they all ask.

Some people claimed to read the writing on the wall way earlier. Some go as far back to ten years ago. One person said the first domino fell down the night management changed and Larry The Cable Guy was booked to a sold-out crowd.

Others point out allegations of embezzlement, a double shot of alleged managerial incompetence mixed with a bad economy.

Older faces quit, new faces appear with the consistency of a revolving door, lackluster crowds, perks disappear, new rules and times for open mics, goodwill gets lost on all sides of the club dynamic and locations changes, loss of local showcases, apathy to comics, apathy of comics, beer sold by the bucket, Gilbert Gottfried having trouble to fill the venue, comics feeling no longer welcome, comics moving forward in life, comics falling out of life, comics being banned from open mics, comics being forced to choose performance space. And that’s before the Laff Spot bought the Laff Stop.

Yes, the copy, the Laff Spot bought the original, the Laff Stop. It’s weird and confusing. Like Coca Cola being bought out by Koko Coola.

During that time club owner, Don Learned was given a chance to buy the Laff Stop, he was already planning to move his club, ‘The Laff Spot’ from it’s Willowbrook location to it’s Louetta Road location.

Most likely that change of venue didn’t do as well as planned. With enough resources to run one comedy club at a time, Don Learned was forced to make a decision. Which club do I keep? Do I keep the one in my name? Or do I keep the one with the better reputation and location that’s not in my name? In the end, he chose to save the one in his name. Faced with the same set of circumstances’ Do I save my kid or the adopted kid?’ many people would do the same.

For many weeks the inner knitting circles of Houston comics were buzzing rumors.

“Did you hear about the Stop? Keep it a secret don’t tell anyone.” gets repeated over and over, leading to Friday, December 18th, 2009 comedian Scott White posts the Facebook status update which sends ripples across the internet.

Leading to Shecky Magazine.com posting Laff Stop closing in 14 Hours.

http://www.sheckymagazine.com/2009/12/houston-laff-stop-closing-in-about-14.html

What I didn’t understand. Why the secret? Wouldn’t it make better sense for comics to know? Wouldn’t it make sense marketing-wise? The Chronicle and other media venues could have gotten involved. More people would have come, filled out the club and give it the send-off it deserved. For many folks their time at the Stop was magical. It should of ended with a bang, it ended on a whimper. It was a third show on a Saturday night with 50-60 people in the audience and a gathering of knitting circle comics who haven’t hit a stage in a long time, taking photos and snatching keepsakes when nobody was. It could have been grand, instead, it was meh.

“Feels more like an execution than a goodbye,” Staci Komp tells me as multiple comics take their keepsakes as a reminder of times past. Rob Mungle tells everyone about the impromptu Irish Wake at the original location which is now the Sherlocks on West Gray.

What did I get myself into?

Here are some of the things overheard at the Eulogy.

I remember hosting an open mic and a headliner bumping someone off the list. So I said, ‘This next act calls himself an Entertainer. If you have to use the word Entertainer in your name, you’re probably not one. Give it up for Cedric the Entertainer.’

–Martin Walsh

Sarah Tollemache, Diane Cups and Kristin Lindner team up and rip on each other a new one. Billy D. Washington recounted his one side abusive love affair with the club. And reminded comics to look beyond the cliques. Rob Mungle thanked everyone in a speech that made even most hardened bastard get misty-eyed. It was a bittersweet night which ended with little baby getting on the mic.

Even got a souvenir too!

Gone are the Wednesday night open mic lines that start at 3:30 pm. Gone are the nights hanging out comics, staff, and fans after a show. I remember seeing Mitch Hedberg rock the mic. Don Irrera giving advice. Doug Stanhope recording “Die Laughing” right after 9/11. Gabriel Iglesias, Felipe Esparza, and Armando Cosio giving me my first guest spot. Interviewing Dane Cook in the green room. Shooting sketches with the Boscos sketch comedy troupe. Watching the Brassy Broads and Black and Blue shows. Driving Daniel Tosh to his hotel room. Hanging out with Bryan Hurzie, Niki Key and the many talented cast of characters that populated the Houston scene. Witnessing Dave Attell doing a sold-out show and living up to his reputation. Chuckling to myself knowing every show started with 2 video shorts Mark Babbitt had me shoot. I remember the Open Mic on 9/10/2001. I remember taking a bus to sign up on a Monday night after my car died a painful death. Albert DeLeon and Larry Simon teaming up to disturb people. Monday nights were spent learning to make strangers laughs. So many characters, so many memories, joy and pain, it was a good time. I’m glad I made the most of it.

Later at the Comedy Showcase, Annual Christmas Party / Cajun Queen Birthday Bash. Caroline Picard makes proudly displays the chaffing dishes that go back from her old restaurant from way back.

“It’s just like the time before, back when the comedy boom of the 80’s went bust. Time to get off the pot or shit. A lot of ‘comics’ are either going to continue on or get a new hobby. Take a look at today’s big names. They’re the ones that kept on going.”

Ultimately that is all we can do.

*Montage photo of Houston Laff Stop Comedy Scene Regulars by Steve Ryan more can be found on www.Marley.net

Photo from 2006 Houston Comedy Festival by Marc Katz

Currently as of 2019 there are only 2 comedy clubs in the greater Houston area, The Secret Group & The Houston Improv.

Featured, True Lies

And Breathe..

November 26, 2015

Disclaimer:

If you’re looking for journalistic integrity, politics or a moral at the end, go somewhere else.

October 14th, 2015, 12:40ish am

The World Famous Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip, Los Angeles, California

To say things were crazy is a bit of an understatement. Roast Battles at the Comedy Store by nature are intense experiences. Yet the verbal slugfest of Jay Light vs Kim Congdon ended up being just the cherry on top of a wild and crazy night. Somewhere in the beginning of the Roast Battle Jamar Neighbors and the Wave had just switched sides and antics with “The Haters” Earl Skakel, Omid Singh and Keith Carey. Then Roast Master General Jeff Ross had arrived with Anthony Jeselnik adding to the on and off color commentary of Joshua Meyrowitz, Brian Moses, Justin Martindale and Tiffany Haddish. I also lost my first Roast Battle to Madison Wisconsin’s Funniest 2011 and newly christened Comedy Store door guy, Mike Schmidt. A couple of moments later that becomes the furthest thing from my mind.

Erik Myers was performing in the Original Room to fellow comics like Don Barris and David Taylor and the audience inside. The audience from the Laff Mob Show were hanging out at the Comedy Store’s front patio with the other comics like Brandt Tobler, Olivia Grace, and Josh Nasar. Young 23-year-old Richard “Rick” James was standing at the Comedy Store’s front doors as an unidentified man wearing a grey hoodie and gloves walks towards him. Meanwhile fellow Houston comics Nia DeBose, Mark Hurtado and I take a step towards the patio entrance of the Comedy Store.

“Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!”

“Firecrackers?” I say to myself as I keep stumbling into the chaos as Nia, Mark and various people with more sense than me start to run off into their own different directions. I see broken glass from dropped drinks, comics, patrons and staff huddled in the corners of the bar hiding for cover. Then from the corner of my eye I spot a guy in a grey hoodie pulling sideways trigger after the clip had been emptied. He turns around and sprints into Sunset Blvd down Olive St.

“Breathe in. Breathe out! Breathe.. Breathe in. Breathe out. Stay with us! You’re going to make it. You’re going to be alright.” Josh Nasar calmly tries to console Rick as he starts to shiver and gurgle in his arms. When most folks were thinking about survival, Josh Nasar leapt in and tried help out young Rick. “Anyone have towels?!” Josh exclaims. Rose the bartender rushes towards the back to get towels as I sheepishly hand Josh stolen napkins from my linty pocket. 911 is called and it ends as quickly as it began. Rose arrives with towels and tries to stop the bleeding. Rick shivers and gurgles his last breath while in both their arms. Not all heroes wear capes, some just happened to be on “Sons of Anarchy” and work the bar at the Comedy Store. To quote another Josh, “Much respect Josh. Much respect Rose”.

Police and an ambulance arrive within minutes. Comics in the Belly Room like Izzy Salhani, Anna Valenzuela, and Rasheed Stephens start to realize something is up when they see a tearful Rose running into the Belly Room followed by Don Barris. Rumors and speculation start to percolate from the back of the Belly Room. Kim Congdon delivers a savage zinger and confirmed word arrives in the form of Mike Schmidt pausing the show “I need to make an announcement.” “Oh what, someone got shot?” jokes the Roastmaster General.

The show goes on and everyone is corralled into the parking lot. It’s a tense moment. People check in on one another and ask each other “Where were you?”. Some take photos while most start searching for a zinger that just won’t come. Maybe there might such a thing as too soon? What’s the point? Are we safe? Are less comics going to go to the Store? Or are more comics going to show up because they hear less comics are there? Will the audience still be there? Earl Skakel throws out a couple of one liners and the folks around him in the parking lot erupt in laughter.

People are only permitted to leave 5 at a time after they answer a series of questions.

“What was the suspect’s ethnicity? Did he have a beard? What color clothes was he wearing?”

Even fresh memories are weird and bendable things. Some said the shooter had a beard, while others claim he was wearing a bandana over his face. Some saw gloves and identified the firearm as a Glock. Off record everyone has their own theories. Maybe it was a hit? Gang related? I don’t know. So much went wrong, yet so much went right. Nobody else was hurt. The show went on. Ironically that cramped and sweaty Comedy Store Belly Room was the safest room in the building.

Everything around me started to mute itself and go down a couple of notches. The trek up King’s Rd with Nate Hurd and Josh Meyrowitz didn’t bother me as much as it usually did. So much uncertainty and neurotic thoughts entered and danced around in my head.

The following Thursday the Comedy Store reopened its doors. I figure I might as well show up. Once there I realize my neurotic fears were just neurotic fears. Both comics and audience were back in full force. There were hugs, fist bumps, drinks, snark and bittersweet laughs. For a moment I found myself staring at the entrance a little too long. Yeah, I’m still showing up.

So much happens at the Store at any given night. At times it can be a fantastic wonderland where celebrities, headliners, hopefuls, and unsavory characters of questionable moral fiber mingle freely. Other times the Comedy Store is a dark place where insecurities are amped up and preyed upon by those who need the pain of others to warm their cold dead hearts. Opportunities are made and dreams are crushed by the minute. What’s there not to like?

It’s still a Reece’s Peanut butter cup of crisis and opportunity coming together in a tasty bittersweet imperfect mix of silliness and madness. An open mic segment at Erik Marino‘s Show Up Go Up could easily morph into a podcast or an event of it’s own which can spread across the nation like wild fire. The Roast Battle Show is proof of that. The shows that seem to fill up the room are usually the result of comics coming together organically to make something happen. Comics see something work and someone pitches in here, someone else pitches in there and cool things happen. Cool things like Roast Battle with Brian Moses and Coach Tea, Kill Tony with Tony Hinchcliffe, Until I Lose Interest by David Taylor, The Comedy Store Podcast with Rick Ingraham and The Ding Dong Show with Don Barris are proof of that. It’s still a petri dish of creative anarchy. What most folks would call a festival in Houston, Texas is what I call just another night at the Comedy Store. Changes are made and the show goes on.

Weeks later, outside the Belly Room where the roof meets the stairs I overhear Josh Nasar reveal to Melissa Eslinger what was going on in his head at the time. “You do what you do because it’s survival instinct. You can’t torture yourself with the what ifs, could of beens. You don’t think about these types of things, you just react. You do your best, move on and react to the moment.” And just like that my anxiety goes down a couple of notches. I find myself gazing at the stars and enjoying the moment.

Then Mike Schmidt taps me on the shoulder to tell me to stop sitting on the roof.

*Photo by Troy Conrad

Featured, Shameless Self Promotion!, True Lies

If You’re Going To Get Your Balls Busted…

September 14, 2015

Late Night, Comedy Store I find myself pacing near the parking lot.

“You alright?” asks Kyle Henson.

“I’m not being antisocial, but it’s like a dragon’s claw is squeezing my gut. I’d rather be socially awkward than shit myself. Cause shitting myself would be even more awkward and…”

Kyle stops me mid-sentence, “Just breathe, inhale and exhale.”

I take in Kyle’s words, “inhale, exhale” and the grip in my stomach loosens.

“Inhale, exhale” anxiety leaves the pit of my stomach. “Inhale, exhale..”

Suddenly Tony Hinchcliffe stops, pauses and says to me, “Whatever you’re doing, it’s not working”.

Then my stomach makes an audible grumble and I feel a dragon claw tear at my insides.

Bastard.

I shake my fist at the sky as realize the podcast is called Kill Tony for a good reason.

Well, if you’re going to get your balls busted, get them busted by the best.

Photo by Troy Conrad 2015 http://www.rationalentertainment.com

Ralphie May, Steve Rannazzisi, Jeff Ross, Pete Holmes and Mike Lawrence get to bust my balls too!

Now on to the Roast Battle!

Austin Vs. Houston!

Al Bahmani Vs. Chance Royce!

“Let’s Roast!” — Brian Moses Photo by Troy Conrad 2015 http://www.rationalentertainment.com/

Funniest Person in Austin finalist Chance Royce’s insults hit hard. He delivered each insult with the conviction of a snake handler mid rapture “Al’s had the same glasses for 10 years. The only thing he’s used longer…are his jokes.”

Yeah Chance hit hard., I just hit back harder with“ Chance Royce is an environmentally safe comic, he uses 75% recycled premises.” and won.

“I thought the nerdy Mexican was going to lose”

— Ralphie May

For a full play by play check out the Roast Report. Thank you Brian Moses and everyone at the Comedy Store from the Haters to the Wave who’s name I’m still learning for creating one hell of an event. Listen the Podcast Here! Thanks again to Troy Conrad for the great photos! Much respect to Chance Royce for representing Austin and being a good sport. Also Congrats to Austin comic Michael Monsour for winning his first Roast Battle! He dedicated his win to memory the late Monty Seitz.

"The Alamo Wins Again" -- Brian Moses Photo by Troy Conrad http://www.rationalentertainment.com

“The Alamo Wins Again” — Brian Moses Photo by Troy Conrad 2015 http://www.rationalentertainment.com

So I’m 2-0 at Roast Battle!

It’s a great feeling that came to pass.

My next Roast Battle is October 13th, 2015 at the Comedy Store against Mike Schmidt!

No not the Phillies 3rd baseman from the 1970’s!

This Mike won the title of Madison’s Funniest Comic 2011!

So has anything changed?

Other than the comics at Show Up Go Up Variety Show singing me Happy Birthday and a beautiful woman walking up to the stage to kiss me. I normally don’t make grand events out of my birthday, damn that was awesome!

Thanks again Erik Marino and Kenny Lion for running a good show in a bomb proof room. In fact thank you Lahna Turner, Amber Lynn, Dinah Leffert, Tuesday Thomas, Brian Moses, Jose Trevizo, Frank Yi, Dick Williams, Clarke McMakin, Burt Teplitzky, Fielding Edlow and the gang at Canter’s Deli Kibitz Room and everyone else I forgot. Thank ya’ll for the opportunity to entertain folks and hone my voice at some fun at really interesting venues.

Follow @ShowUpGoUPShow on Twitter, Instagram & Periscope

#SHAMLESSPLUG

Off stage the next morning following a night of great comedy arrives with reality of a hangover. You wake up and are reminded of your place in the scheme of things.

I still park at up that hill when I head to The Comedy Store. I still put my name in a bucket for the chance to sharpen up old bits and work on new bits at the open mics I go to. I still stumble into Bellyroom and sweat to watch the Roast Battles from a reflection like most comics. I still get stuck in traffic. Progress is slow. I can do only so much in twenty four hours. I can only push myself for so long. Pace myself, put in some work and pay my dues. Write, rewrite, organize, edit, record myself, submit to festivals, make and take opportunities when I see them. I’m still one car wreck, sickness or broken smartphone away from real hard times.

Recently I delivered a six pack of beer to a gal who was crying, “I’m sorry I’m not usually not like this.” she says to me as she wipes her eyes and tries to surpress another sniffle.

“That’s alright, this too shall come to pass.”

She smiles and perks up wanting to hear more.

“In fact there are three sayings that are true for all times.”

“And they are?”

“What is is. This too shall come to pass. And because Fuck You! That’s why!”

She snorts, laughs and gives me a fist bump.

It’s a good feeling, I’ll enjoy it while I still can.

Featured, Lifestyle, Shameless Self Promotion!, True Lies

“We thought we’d leave you with a story.”

September 8, 2015

Friday night August 30th, 2002, Laff Stop Houston, Texas

If I can’t go up on stage, I might as well catch a show and see how it’s done.

The marquee reads “Que Locos!”.

“Is this going to show in Spanish?” I ask myself.

I do my best to avoid the waitstaff’s way and catch the show from the stage right hallway. I accidentally bump into the feature act Felipe and watch the opener Armando Cosio finish up his set.

“Great job!” I tell him as he passes me by. I watch the rest of the show from the peanut gallery and head home.

Saturday night, I finish up a video editing session, head to the Laff Stop and once again arrive as Armando is finishing up his set. I congratulate him again on the good job as he leaves the stage. I watch the rest of the show from the peanut gallery again and head home.

Sunday my conscience gets the best of me, I told Armando good set, but I didn’t catch the full set and that just starts to tug at me on the inside. So I arrive early and see Armando, “Hey Mando, I got here early so I could catch your full set.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“By the way, why is the show called Que Locos?”

“It’s a show on Galavision.”

“The Spanish station?”

“Yeah and it’s in English.”

“Cool.. Break a leg”

I watch the rest of Armando’s set, then head to the bar and order a Dr. Pepper.

“Hey Al, Gabe wants to talk to you.”

Armando introduces me to his fluffy friend, Gabriel.

“You a comic?”

“Yeah, well, I just do open mic”

“So what’s your name?”

“Al, Al Bahma… Al B.”

“So Al B, how many minutes do you have?”

“Five, I’m.. ”

“You know what? Check this out.” Gabriel leads me to the side of the stage and points me towards the packed audience.

“See this crowd? This crowd is hot!”

“Yup.”

Then Gabriel points me towards his middle act, “Felipe’s not even doing his best stuff and he’s killing it!”

“Yup.”

“In fact this audience so hot, whoever goes up next will absolutely kill it.”

“Yup.”

“I believe that so much that you’re going up next”

“Yup.”

As soon as I realize what I agreed to, I then feel my heart drop into the pit of my stomach.

“We thought we’d leave you with a story.”

Armando gets up on stage and introduces me, I go up and bomb horribly.

It was craptacular, uncomfortable and quite honestly at the time, I was too dirty for the audience.

Still one joke got in there with a positive response.

“They tell you when you’re nervous in public speaking to imagine the entire audience is naked.

Well I just did that. Now I’m blind.”

Normally it would get a chuckle, this time it was a four second applause break. Feeling that roar of the crowd for the first time on stage is powerful stuff. It’s like a shark tasting blood for the first time.

I was hooked. I want, not want, I need. I need more of this. I need to get better. I need to get funnier.

Even got a souvenir too!

Afterwards Armando brings me some birthday cake because it happened to be his birthday. While snacking on cake I ask, “Why me? What about the other better local comics?”

“Yeah, but you’re only one that said hello.”

Featured, Shameless Self Promotion!, Travel, True Lies

When You Arrive in Los Angeles

August 4, 2015

When you arrive in Los Angeles, they welcome you with a traffic ticket, a fender bender and the middle finger.

I curse this hill a lot, yet I’m greatful for the free parking and weight loss.

Best part about Los Angeles, the weather. What people call a bad day in LA would make a great day in Houston weather wise.

Worst part about Los Angeles, the people. They suck.